Friday, May 20, 2011

While I Wait

So I have ventured into my fifth week with this broken knee cap. I am trying to keep my chin up. But as I have stated before, my independent nature doesn't like being at the mercy of other people. Traveling in the motor home holds its own share of difficulties with my current condition. Getting around on crutches while moving is virtually impossible. Getting to "my side" of the bed can be treacherous. I can't get in and out of the shower without help and that is one of the worst parts for me. Getting in and out of the motor home in and of itself is a challenge that is met with only once a day. Twice at the complete outside and only if completely necessary.

However in all of this, I've learned several different things. I've learned that it's ok to ask others for help and not feel completely guilty about it. Not that I would take advantage of this if I were able to do for myself. It's ok to say, "No I just can't do anymore." I have a horrible habit of saying "yes" and going until I'm practically sick. It's ok to rely less on me and more on Jimmy. (or sometimes Devin) But mainly, its ok to rely less on me and more on Him!

There have been several obstacles that have come up in this last month besides my broken knee and car. I have sat back and said, "Ok God, I realize You want to teach me something but if you could let up just a bit, I'd be really grateful." Those are the times God tells me, "It's because I want you to quit relying on you and your ability." Which is something I already know but apparently need reminding of from time to time.  My ability is sorely lacking at the moment but in Him, it lacks incessantly in comparison. He is so much bigger than my small mind and abilities can imagine. Why do I even think about relying on myself?

So while I wait, I'll keep on trying to imagine like I'm already home where I don't have to worry about such silly things. All I have to do is rest in the arms of One who loves me far more than I'm worth.